Leadership camp? Isn't that where Hitler went?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Children are like soft petals. One wrong pluck and they are damaged forever.

I would like television to produce some itching pills rather than this endless outpouring of tranquilizers.

So many of the things we're told by the government simply aren't true.

To take the nuts from the fire with the dogges foot. [To take the nuts from the fire with the dog's foot.]

Life takes on the meaning that you give it.

Lift up your eyes, discouraged one. When you feel like giving up, when they say it can't be done, it's up to you to show them why they're wrong.

When you write what you know, you stay in control. One of the first things I encourage my writing students to do is to lose control - say what they want to say, break structure.

God save us from the people who want to do what's best for us.

We're not products of our environments, we're products of our expectations.

For every sale you miss because you're too enthusiastic, you will miss a hundred because you're not enthusiastic enough.