...Learn to give thanks for everything.

Love is friendship set on fire.

He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home, and broods a nest of sorrows.

God hath given to man a short time here upon earth, and yet upon this short time eternity depends.

Revenge... is like a rolling stone, which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with a greater violence, and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.

All virtuous women, like tortoises, carry their house on their heads, and their chappel in their heart, and their danger in their eye, and their souls in their hands, and God in all their actions.

It is impossible for that man to despair who remembers that his Helper is omnipotent.

A celibate, like the fly in the heart of an apple, dwells in a perpetual sweetness, but sits alone, and is confined and dies in singularity.

It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance, for it requires knowledge to perceive it; and, therefore, he that can perceive it hath it not.

Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit.

God is pleased with no music below so much as with the thanksgiving songs of relieved widows and supported orphans; of rejoicing, comforted, and thankful persons.

There is nothing more irreligious than self-absorbed religion.

From beginning to end, we are all alone.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

People are starting to go on about my weight but I'm not going to change my size because they don't like the way I look.

Putin is someone who has been undermining the norms of what we consider the world order since he got into power and in increasing success.

In New York, it's a little bit more formal, a little bit more decorated, and there's a real appreciation for traditional style. Out here, it's casual, fresh, new, and almost humble.

If I'm making myself laugh, I figure most of my readers will be amused as well.

Those worship songs on the Christmas project will air on PBS television. That's highly unusual.

I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable.

Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.