Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See nonsense.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Embrace the probability of your imminent death....and know there is nothing i can do to save you.

With my time in the limelight, I regret that I didnt use it more to push vegetarianism. I support vegetarian options in the school lunch program.

Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

It's as if when you love someone, they become your reason.

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

For me this book was a very practical explanation of one man's experience of Enlightened awareness in in the face of or in light of dogma-oriented wisdom.

Everyday life invents itself by poaching in countless ways on the property of others.

I do modern jazz and contemporary combined. I like to feel strong, flexible, and so there is stretching involved.

It’s the most maddening, beautiful, magical, horrible, painful, wonderful joyous thing in the world, love

Adultery is a most conventional way to rise above the conventional.