Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Don't just Hurry, don't just Haste. Don't just Worry, don't just Waste. Life is a Treasure, Enjoy the Pleasure.

Life is meant for the living but fit for the dead.

It felt really good to do something that made no sense at all.

Watch me go. Watch me. Because you said i couldn't. Because you thought I wouldn't. Go on, cry now. Cry.

We live in an age where the artist is forgotten. He is a researcher. I see myself that way.

Timothy Leary and I kept the same hours. He believed, as I do, that “After midnight, all things are possible.

In a drear-nighted December, Too happy, happy tree, Thy branches ne'er remember Their green felicity.

You only have one thing in business, and that is your reputation

Behind every dark cloud there's usually rain

I'm a pretty big clothes horse. I shop for clothes constantly. I do so much shopping. I should go to Shoppers Anonymous.