Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

I thought I was dreaming and I dreamed.

I know you are afraid

He who has learned to look to God in everything he does is at the same time diverted from all vain thoughts.

We all require and want respect, man or woman, black or white. It's our basic human right.

I've always wanted to act since I was little.

The right of smokers to smoke ends where their behavior affects the health and well-being of others.

I learn the most from making my own mistakes.

I just think everyone needs their own private space.

Don't tear other people down. Lift people up.

I'd rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet.