Lenin, Stalin, and Mao slaughtered even more tens of millions in the name of equality than Hitler murdered in the name of inequality.

Political correctness is a war on noticing.

In contrast to New Orleans, there was only minimal looting after the horrendous 1995 earthquake in Kobe, Japan - because, when you get down to it, Japanese aren't blacks.

Much of modern liberalism consists of people trying to get revenge on the football players they felt inferior to in school.

What goes unsaid eventually goes unthought

Truth is better for humanity than ignorance, lies, or spin. And it's more interesting.

Racism is to the current era what unAmericanism was to the Fifties: a curse word that provides a handy substitute for logical thought.

Monogamy is a huge time-saver.

Everything is connected. We see the signs every moment. There are miracles waiting to happen!

I didn't realize, when I decided to be a comic, that a black person had never been allowed to stand flat-footed in America and talk to white folks. It never happened before.

I've got better things to do than read rubbish about myself.

Two things are not debatable: eroticism, and comedy. If you don't think it's sexy, or funny, there's no way I can change your mind.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion.

Happiness is peace after strife, the overcoming of difficulties, the feeling of security and well-being. The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

A complex decision is like a great river, drawing from its many tributaries the innumerable premises of which it is constituted.

I gave in to life. I was not defeated but outplayed.

Habit, laziness, and fear conspire to keep us comfortably within the familiar.

When you're reading my book, you're not in a four dimensional continuum, you're in my continuum, the Grossman continuum.