Let it be said that the makeup artist at '90210' made me look better for the fake red carpet than I've ever looked on an actual red carpet.

Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

I'm glad that as a 33-year-old working mother, I can still choose to wear a Hello Kitty T-shirt or stay up late scrolling through the Twitter feed of my junior-high crush.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

It doesn't matter if they're in front of the camera or behind the camera. I know women who are producers who are surviving on nothing but juice and almonds.

I think sometimes people really require the satisfaction of closure.

Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache.

When the conflict deepens, none will have peace either.

The United States and Mexico are trapped - economically, culturally, politically and because of drug crime - in the same continent.

Nothing is so tiresome to one's self, as well as so odious to others, as disguise and affectation.

The secret to not being afraid is to understand what scares you

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.

What a magnificent accomplishment to be able to stay alive as an innocent lamb in the land of guilty wolves!

We just may be the most well-informed, yet least self-aware, people in history.

I am for keeping the thing going while things are stirring. Because if we wait till it is still, it will take a great while to get it going again.

The ordinary air fighter is an extraordinary man and the extraordinary air fighter stands as one in a million among his fellows.