Let no one expect anything of certainty from astronomy, lest if anyone take as true that which has been constructed for another use, he go away... a bigger fool than when he came to it.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

The eagle may soar; beavers build dams.

The US has not imposed democracy in Yemen, its people have.

The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

The government is shutting down the coal industry, they say it's cheaper to draw nuclear power off the French grid and cheaper to buy coal from Colombia.

Every time he saw her he realised the reason why they always said humans are made of stardust.

Don't ever let anyone bring you down, define who you are or destroy your AWESOMENESS.

If Jews want to get it on, tell them to pin their yarmulkes back and come over to my house.

Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery

One day I am satisfied, the next day I find it all bad; still I hope that some day I will find some of them good.

The word democracy has no meaning. Duty has gone. Only rights remain.

All alone by the telephone.

Well, if you've got a one-in-a-million girl don't let her get away; cause the next one-in-a-million girl is a million girls away.

I write the music, produce it and the band plays within the parameters that I set.

Permit no hour to go by without it due improvement.