Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding.

Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.

Competition is the death of art.

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?

They say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.

I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

Living to impress others is only acceptable by those who haven't discovered their true purpose in life .

Did you do every single thing you could today, to be your best?

To be alone as a pioneerlike we were, was difficult. My strategy was not only to help the people, or transform the world, but to do both

Don't date the captain of the football team; be the captain of the football team.

Gregg Braden is a rare blend of a scientist, visionary, and scholar, with the ability to speak to our minds, while touching the wisdom of our hearts.

The liveness in me just loves to feel the liveness in growing things, in grass and rain and leaves and flowers and sun and feathers and furs and earth and sand and moss.

The thing is, I love a celebrity interview. Doesn't matter how big or how small. It could be Hillary Clinton or the guy who made it to the third round of 'Popstars,' I'll read it.

Much of what sophisticates loftily refer to as the "complexityof the real world is in fact the inconsistency in their own minds.

I think sometimes older people wind up being a little childlike. They've done their time, now they get to do what they want.