Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

The exchange rate for ideas is infinite.

Truth is the preferred weapon of God, and censorship is the most abused tool of the Devil.

Aren't maids the ultimate art critics?

Custom reconciles us to everything.

Im much happier talking with people than I am flirting with them.

I stir in bed and the memories rise out of me like a buzz of flies from a carcass. I crave to be rid of them.

The intensity of our desire to share the gospel is a great indicator of the extent of our personal conversion.

If I listened to my instincts, I'd be down at the pub chasing women, not under a 400 pound bar squatting

For the first time, we live in a society that shows any sign of the possibility of women changing this condition.

The one thing that has gotten worse for sports media is access. We hardly get to see, talk to and most of all get to know the players and coaches anymore.