Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Most of us make assumptions about how someone will relate to us, and they are often unfounded.

Ignore the people who advise you patience! There is no time for patience! Those who are patient for many years about anything are mad!

No one should have to go back to the place where she had once been a girl.

Completeness is rare in history.

The circus doesn't stop. A federal appeals court has postponed the recall election. How stupid are we? Even our recalls get recalled.

I do not consider myself at work unless I am before a six-foot canvas.

Bloom where you are planted!

There are no plans in President-elect [Donald] Trump's policies moving forward to touch Medicare and Social Security.

Let him be wise, or let me be blind; don't let me, she hoped concretely, don't let me know too surely what he thinks of me.

Dancing with life is moving into the flow of our experiences - good or bad - with a feeling of harmony, trust, guidance and love.