Let the teachers teach English and I will teach baseball. There is a lot of people in the United States who say isn't, and they ain't eating.

Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat.

If Satch (Paige) and I were pitching on the same team, we would clinch the pennant by July fourth and go fishing until World Series time.

Son, what kind of pitch would you like to miss?

All ballplayers want to wind up their careers with the Cubs, Giants or Yankees. They just can't help it.

It ain't bragging if you can do it.

Let the teachers learn the kids English. Ol' Diz will learn the kids baseball.

Me and Paul (Dean) will probably win forty games (they won forty-nine).

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

I ain't what I used to be, but who the hell is?

I only went to the third grade because my father only went to the fourth and I didn't want to pass him.

Web of time

I have a home in Orlando. That's kind of my default 'getaway' city.

If Jesus were alive today, He would be a guerrillero.

I was never a leading man. I've always been in the outer concentric circles in the company, being a character actor, which is a good place to be. It gives you that diversity.

I'm in the business of providing people with secondary satisfactions. It wouldn't have done me much good if they had all written their own plays, would it?

McGovern is so far left that he is in danger of falling off the earth.

Too many times women try to be competitive with each other. We should help support each other, rather than try to be better than each other.

The sucker's trap is when you focus on what you know and what others don't know, rather than the reverse.

It's time we stopped worrying about losing our looks and started celebrating the gifts of age: I feel yummier than ever.

After all, we are nothing more or less than we choose to reveal.