Liberals have many tails and chase them all.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.

This generation can only reach this generation.

Smallpox was the worst disease in history. It killed more people than all the wars in history.

A civilization based on nonviolence must be different from that organized for violence.

I think this is a line in the sand for many Quebecers and Canadians: That if you're going to give services or receive services, your face should be uncovered.

We wandered the halls of an infinite magic nursing home, led by a hippo nurse with a torch. Really, just an ordinary night for the Kanes.

Suppose by chance you do get picked up. What have you done? You shot a horse; that isn't first degree murder; in fact, it isn't even murder; in fact, I don't know what it is.

Love is free; it does not depend on the desirability of its object, but loves for love's sake.

In Japan, people don't really sing about sexual content.

Everything for me is visual. That's just how my head works.