Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.

I'd rather be a lamppost in Chicago than a millionaire in any other city.

Freedom is the last, best hope of earth.

It has been said that work is the highest form of play.

Sometimes when your child talks, your friends cannot understand what he says; but the mother understands very well. So if our prayer comes from the heart, God understands our language.

Tragedy turns into comedy when you watch your own drama and realizing it as a mind-created fiction designed to create you a sense of identity.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

What is the meaning of life? It is too great a phenomenon to fit into any meaning.

Always, a form of self-equilibration, a soul or psyche, is trying to assert itself, to continue the melody of its self-realized life.

A milestone is less date and more definition.

It's easier to lose than to win.