Life Sucks,get a helmet

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.

Celebrate you! For if you don’t, no one will.

Loyalty is standing on someone’s side even if their actions are against your will.

football is like life - it requires perserverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.

Growth is never by mere chance it is the result of forces working together.

If I can go through life free and rich, I shall not cry because my neighbor, equally free, is richer. Liberty will ultimately make all men rich; it will not make all men equally rich.

Life owes you nothing. You owe yourself everything.

I think we all have the urge to be a clown, whether we know it or not.

I’m a shallow, shallow boy. Hey, it helps that you’re pretty. It brings out the nice guy in me. Makes me what to share my cookies with you.

I was concerned about doing the right thing when I was a kid. I suppose as a child, youre a massive egomaniac, and you think that everything you do is going to affect the world.

I feel like I've lost 10 years of my life to cancer.