Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

The truth is, I feel myself being fascinated and repelled by her: She's both a mirror of myself and a door to part of this island that I'm not.

Grace is neither gentleness nor fragility. Grace is treating yourself, others, and even inanimate objects with respect.

The biggest issue that we have to contend with is campaign finance reform.

I have a very good relationship with myself. My favourite quote is, "What you think about me is none of my business."

Embrace bad news to learn where you need the most improvement.

Here's the thing: We have plenty of time. These are cockroaches and we want to kill them all. They're just absolute pieces of garbage and we will get them. So why don't we try the air campaign first?

As hard as it is and as tired as I am, I force myself to get dinner at least once a week with my girlfriends, or have a sleepover. Otherwise my life is just work.

A nation regenerates itself only upon heaps of corpses.

You should be able to use your intellect and not to be dominated by your intellect.

We're just like a movie based on a book-- almost, but not quite as good.