Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is "beware". This is not a wine for drinking; this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

So consider your options, make your choice and call me home.

Go forth under the open sky, and list To Nature's teachings.

Learn to eat problems for breakfast

He is in youth swift, pliant and merry, and leapeth and rusheth on all thing that is before him; and is lead by a staw and playeth there with.

Fine writing is a distinct disadvantage. So is unique literary style. They take attention from the subject

The work is the work. The work is not me. I like the anonymity that directors can have about their films. Even though it's my voice, I'm a storyteller.

You're not going to find me in something someone else is wearing. Unless, of course, he's a very swaggy individual.

Beating drums while doing a kindness to somone is a very ugly show of ego!

Extraordinary benefits accrue to the tiny minority of people who are able to push just a tiny bit longer than most.

You know give me choices that are truly different from one another, otherwise they don't regard them as meaningful choices.