Life experience is the best teacher.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

A lot of athletes use sports psychologists.

The largest known prime number is 2^32582657-1. I am proud to say that I memorized all its digits-in binary.

I have friends who remember seeing fish hauled onto a boat's deck and beaten to death.

Be Godlike then; and in all ways and by all means so live that all may say of you, 'He has been with Jesus'.

I have one rule I live by: Only do what you can do. That neans you're never looking outside for what's popular; you're always looking inside for what's true.

No one is truly free, they are a slave to wealth, fortune, the law, or other people restraining them from acting according to their will.

I don't feel that I view things with a pessimistic eye. I should try to say which way events will go rather than which way events should go. We have to be realistic.

The United States, democratic and various though it is, is not an easy country for a fiction-writer to enter: the slot between the fantastic and the drab seems too narrow.

Real beauty lies in the spiritual accord that is called love which can exist between a man and a woman.

A messianic Jew is a Jewish person that believes Jesus Christ is the savior.