Life has a peculiar habit -- once established, it stays. Sometimes it even thrives.

The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.

I have memories - but only a fool stores his past in the future.

Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.

Understanding the laws of nature does not mean that we are immune to their operations.

The jingling of a fat purse always commands the world.

True genius can be identified by the fact that its expression changes the world into something it has never been before.

Adolescence is that time in your life when you discover your ability to be depressed.

You will find it easiest to ride the avalanche in the direction it already travels.

The human race never solves any of its problems, it only outlives them.

And be aware that people fall under one of two categories: they are either your brother and sister in faith, or they are your counterpart in humanity.

Loneliness is more painful than being hurt

B.I.B.L.E. = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

There's a little Spinal Tap in all of us.

No one ever became poor from giving.

What a fearful object a long-neglected duty gets to be

Shaw's plays are the price we pay for Shaw's prefaces.

When a woman has her first child in places like Africa, they're really young. They can be 12, 13,14, so their frames are really small, and they're usually malnourished.

Without hope we are lost.

If I ruled the world Imagine that...