Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is "beware". This is not a wine for drinking; this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

An artist is a man who digests his own subjective impressions and knows how to find a general objective meaning in them, and how to express them in a convincing form.

Don’t be mad” was the first thing he said. He really was terrified, as if the most frightening reaper on the planet was no scarier than a mouse, and yet put him in a tux and it was the Apocalypse.

Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

The purpose of philosophers is to show people what is right under their noses.

The freer you feel yourself in the presence of another, the more free is he...

A poem is like a score for the human voice.

When I write of hunger, I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the love of it and it is all one.

Office politics are bloody-minded, but weak on content.

You won't find a solution by saying there is no problem