Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Our whole social order could self-destruct over the obsession with freedom disconnected from responsibility

A man can believe in a considerable deal of rubbish and yet go about his daily work in a rational and cheerful manner.

My doctor said to me afterwards, 'When you were ill you behaved like a true philosopher. Every time you came to yourself you made a joke.' I never had a compliment that pleased me more.

I am very much a Red Sox fan; I can name you more players than you could possibly imagine. It's just part of who I am.

All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness.

Words seem so futile, so feeble. You are all such lovely, beautiful people ... thank you.

Artists never seem to get bored with life.

Iowans know themselves and what they are doing. They are doing well.

Music keeps time and defies time, simultaneously.

I keep it real normal, like I don't try to act like a celebrity, or say that just because I'm on a TV show I can do other types of TV. I take it very seriously and I respect the art of acting.