Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Thank God I am not God! Thank God I am not God!

[Home educator] sometimes teaching and parenting is tough stuff. That is the reality of the calling. I hope ... [do] not quit or give up hope but keep moving forward on the path where God guides you.

Why live for tomorrow, when you’re not even through living today! Focus on what you can accomplish now and create the tomorrow's you desire today….

So those pills that offered painless relief stayed stored on the shelf, out of the strength of her reach, high atop the altar of platitudes.

Words matter, choose the words you use to describe yourself carefully, make sure they reflect your desire. By our words we ask from God and command the Universe. Both always deliver what we ask

I have no idea what the mind of a lowlife scoundrel is like, but I know what the mind of an honest man is like; it is terrifying.

I want to look at myself in the mirror at the end of my life and say I've done my share and I'm proud of what I've done.

In 1975 I met Alison Brown and in 1982 we were married. She works for Cornell Computer Services.

Success comes from continuing to strive, fail and learn without losing enthusiasm.