Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.

The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.

I have memories - but only a fool stores his past in the future.

Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Understanding the laws of nature does not mean that we are immune to their operations.

The jingling of a fat purse always commands the world.

True genius can be identified by the fact that its expression changes the world into something it has never been before.

Adolescence is that time in your life when you discover your ability to be depressed.

You will find it easiest to ride the avalanche in the direction it already travels.

The human race never solves any of its problems, it only outlives them.

Study what you love, and youll never have to work a day in your life. Itll be one great adventure.

Mercy ministry always comes down to this: you can help, but only Jesus can heal.

You gonna take the case?"It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of."You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, " Grandma said.

Works? Works? A man get to heaven by works? I would as soon think of climbing to the moon on a rope of sand!

It is hard to give up what you know for what you don’t know.

Well, unless you're Wayne Gretzky or Michael Jordan, you need the full support of your team.

Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.

Given angel's wings, where might you fly? In what sweet heaven might you find your love? Unwilling to be bound, where might you move, Lost between the wonder and the why?

My decision was sparked by affirmative action. There was a point in my life when affirmative action would have meant something to me - when my family was working-class, and we were struggling.

I think that - that the disruptive nature, the tough talk on North Korea, the military deployments, sending the missile defense system to South Korea, I think these are all good things to have done.