Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

It is in vain for man to endeavor to instruct man in those things which the Holy Spirit alone can teach.

If there is another world he lives in bliss If there is none he made the best of this.

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

... and the very folds of the curtains contained secrets and sighs.

I prefer to stay in shape through doing activities I enjoy, such as climbing, hiking and exploring.

Don't be afraid to spend money to make money. That's one thing I've never been afraid of... to invest in myself.

If you have a choice of two things and can't decide, take both.

If the truth of religious doctrines is dependent on an inner experience that bears witness to the truth, what is one to make of the many people who do not have that experience?