Life is nothing but a memory. People who dwell on the bad ones aren't going to have a whole lot of good ones coming up.

I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.

I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic.

I was never able to have three of four beers. One's too many, and ten just ain't enough. Basically it's the way I've been since high school.

I hit the ball as hard as I can. If I can find it, I hit it again.

This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?

There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

My slogan is who needs fitness when you've got great equipment.

I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf.

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

Gratitude builds a bridge to abundance.

Of all my failures to offset the mortification of wanting, expecting, or caring too much, the most humiliating was having no real answer for the love of a good man. It humbled me.

'Whom are you?' he asked for he had been to night school.

Everyone thinks I'm this jock of a woman, but I didn't play any sports. I didn't even let my kids play baseball because I was afraid they were going to get hit by balls.

It's absolutely shameful that Rep. Grijalva would try to use tribes as political pawns to implement the misguided agenda of extremist environmental groups.

Even after going to law school, following the footsteps of my father (an accomplished lawyer and judge at the time); I realized that the suit would never replace the kimono!

Words must surely be counted among the most powerful drugs man ever invented.

What's the challenge in writing a novel that few people will read? I'm more than happy writing what I do and have no plans to change that.

Terrorism is the war of the poor, and war is the terrorism of the rich.

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets, looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets.