Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

I have never killed anybody, it is true, but it is because I lacked the courage or the time, not because I lacked the desire

Jesus was a good guy, he didn't need this shit.

Here's some advice. Stay alive.

The amount of money we spend on education is important, but not nearly as important as how the money is spent.

If your vision doesn’t compel, move or stir people, your vision is too small.

Each person designs his own life, freedom gives him the power to carry out his own designs, and power gives the freedom to interfere with the designs of others.

The worst part a man can suffer is to have insight into much and power over nothing.

A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal as opposed to the conservative, who has both feet firmly planted in his mouth.

The problem with the British film industry is the nervousness and insecurity about - and genuflection toward - Los Angeles.

For me, I've learned that the best thing is to focus on the team you play for and yourself and what you need to do.