Life is too important to be taken as a joke, but too ridiculous to be taken seriously.

Instead of past, present and future, I'd prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.

Please don't lie to me,unless,you're sure I'll never find out the truth.

The greatest obstacle to discovering the truth is being convinced that you already know it.

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

I too have known joy and sadness, and, on the whole, I prefer joy.

I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

Keep some souvenirs of your past, or how will you ever prove it wasn't all a dream?

My favorite literature to read is fairly dry history. I like the framework, and my imagination can do the rest.

I'm not saying find someone and ask them if you can mow their grass for ten dollars. I'm saying find weeds that need pulling and pull them.

They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.

When we visited with legislative counsel, they told us that the only way to effectively accomplish what we were trying to do was to put the words in the legislation.

I feel about mothers the way I feel about dimples: because I do not have one myself, I notice everyone who does.

Clothing was something I always wanted to do. I've been pulling tear sheets from magazines since I was a little girl.

Now here's a funky introduction of how nice I am Tell your mother, tell your father, send a telegram.

The true Christian is like sandalwood, which imparts its fragrance to the axe which cuts it, without doing any harm in return.

The guiding motive of mankind should be charity towards men, charity towards all animals.

Oh! God! That bread should be so dear, and flesh and blood so cheap!