Life is tough, but if you are stupid, it's a lot tougher.

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

Sure I wave the American flag. Do you know a better flag to wave? Sure I love my country with all her faults. I'm not ashamed of that, never have been, never will be.

The reason there are so many stupid people is because it's illegal to kill them.

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.

TRUE Courage is when you are scared to death and STILL saddle up and ride in!

All battles are fought by scared men who'd rather be some place else.

I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.

Very few of the so-called liberals are open-minded.... They shout you down and won't let you speak if you disagree with them.

A friend of mine told me to shoot first and ask questions later. I was going to ask him why, but I had to shoot him.

I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.

Human nature is never satisfied.

... don’t confuse between self-love and narcissism. Self- love is making yourself your number one priority but narcissism is start enforcing that priority over others. First one is healthy

There is no time for holding back.

I can't get too offended when somebody parodies me.

In L.A., I don't really want to go out because traffic sucks so bad. I'm sorry, I'm not going to spend five hours a day in my car, so you have to choose where you live very carefully.

A very good editor is almost a collaborator.

I have told everybody that what we are doing is for the love of God and works of love are always to accept and respect others.

When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.

Do every common act as a god should do it; speak every word as a god should speak it.

Men never fail to underestimate women.