Life is tough, then you die.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Encouragement is the faith of enthusiasm.

I am weird, and you know what? That's OK. So are most interesting people.

Are all men in disguise except those crying?

Food is the most important influence on your health. It is even more important than your thoughts and emotions.

A design style is defined by a set of microdecisions. A clear style reflects a consistent set. A clear style may not be a good style; a muddled one never is.

The most mistrustful are often the greatest dupes.

People say the customer is always right, but you know what - they're not. Sometimes they are wrong and they need to be told so.

The pursuit of beauty is much more dangerous nonsense than the pursuit of truth or goodness, because it affords a stronger temptation to the ego.

If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother, as sick as that sounds.

I don’t think I’m all that conservative.