Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.

A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.

Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

You will do extraordinary splendor.

In the Library you took your good times where you could find them.

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.

Back in the mid-1970s, we adopted some fairly ambitious goals to improve efficiency of our cars. What did we get? We got a tremendous boost in efficiency.

I have now become so infatuated with television. I think television has become elegant.

At least when I was govenor, cocaine was expensive.

Let your workings remain a mystery. Just show people the results.

Concentration is the magic key that opens the door to accomplishment.

If the mind loves solitude, it has thereby acquired a loftier character, and it becomes still more noble when the taste is indulged in.