Life isn't always fair, lass, but that doesn't mean it can't still be sweet."- Dageus

Valhalla on the right. Paradise regained on the left. Stuck between a Godiva truffle and a chocolate eclair. Between a rock and a very hard place. Two very hard places from the looks of it.

I'm sorry your pretty little world got all screwed up, but everybody's does, and you go on. It's how you go on that defines you.

Oh, drop the act, Tinkerbell, and get rid of my problem. Then we’ll talk.

That part of his body was simply uncontrollable, apparently functioning in accordance to a single law of nature: She existed--he got a hard-on.

There should be a vaccine against Adam Black. And all women should be given it at birth.

Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything.

Life's a choice: you can live in black and white, or you can live in colour. I'll take every shade of the rainbow and the gazillion in between!

It's often only in the lies we refuse to speak that any truth can be heard at all.

Nobody looks good in their darkest hours. But it's those hours that make us what we are.

The most confused we ever get is when we're trying to convince our heads of something our heart knows is a lie.

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.

I haven't had a lot of celebrities around me growing up.

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.

Think of me as the weathered sheriff coming back into Dodge 'cause the youngsters are shooting up the church and scaring the horses and not doing right by the women.

We protect aspirin bottles in this country better than we protect guns from accidents by children.

I am corrupted to the bone with the beauty of this forsaken world.

Of all the superstitions that affect India, none is so great as that a knowledge of the English language is necessary for imbibing ideas of liberty and developing accuracy to thought.

Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.

Strike when thou wilt, the hour of rest, but let my last days be my best.

I can lose three million dollars because it's just paper. Thus, my lifestyle is not dependent up the stock market.