Life never tires of testing the proposition that life must go on.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Life is not about tomorrow. Life is about living your fullest today.

In calmness of mind is greatness.

It is difficult to put words to the smell of decomposing human. It is dense and cloying, sweet but not flower-sweet. Halfway between rotting fruit and rotting meat.

Please stop teaching my children that everyone gets a trophy just for participating. What is this, the Nobel Prize? Not everybody gets a trophy.

I just wouldn't have believed a ball could be hit that hard. I've never seen anything like it.

One road leads home and a thousand roads lead into the wilderness.

No matter how organized your ducks are, life can turn on 2 seconds. So, you can't keep on waiting. Because, if you keep on waiting, it's gone.

I prefer film to TV because of the amount of time film affords you that TV doesn't (though theater is probably my favorite and the scariest place of all).

The man who has grit enough to bring about the afforestation or the irrigation of a country is not less worthy of honor than its conqueror.

I think Australians are more interested in what I am doing with their money than what I am doing with my own.