Like a Volvo, Bjorn Borg is rugged, has good after-sales service, and is very dull.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

Both believers and unbelievers go through temptations

Kindness went out to play all on a summer's day. With her about many smiles came out and joined in sweet array.

There was nothing in life harder or more important than agreeing every morning to stay the course, to go back to your forgotten self of so many years ago, and to make the same decision.

Whatever music you beat on your drum there is somebody who can dance to it.

I don't see me doing $100 million films because $100 million films, the very nature of them, you need to offend as few people as possible just to make your money back.

Foreign news is one of the most expensive kinds of news and, unlike in colonial days, one of the categories with the lowest levels of audience interest.

Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.

When I die my death will be caused by indignation at the stupidity of human nature.

You're always having to live more to fuel something new. It's an obligation to yourself and to the audience. The personal baggage that comes with being a known actor just adds to that struggle.

I am not proud of the King of Bahrain, in whose name people have been killed.