Like a lot of people, I've got a self-loathing streak that's alive and well. It acts as a de facto engine when I'm working, but it also has its extraordinary pitfalls, too.

I don't expect success. I prepare for it.

Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.

I dragged my wife from our honeymoon in Africa and landed her in Ontario, Canada, when it was -40 degrees.

Laughing can serve you in dark moments and even help you crawl your way back out.

Everyone thinks their baby is a genius. People find it delightfully refreshing when I tell them, My baby? Totally average. Like, 100 percent average.

I just love bikes. It's not the safest passion to have, but I guess it's better than Russian roulette.

There are so few surprises left in life. We've gotten so addicted to knowing. It's the Google generation. We want the answer to everything right now!

If it weren’t so off-putting for my co-workers. I’d wear my flannel, one-piece 'Hannah Montana' pajamas, like, all the time!

I've done things to my body, mechanically, that I'll never do again. I've done stunts that I shouldn't have done 10, 11, 12 times. I've broken a ton of bones on sets.

Guys are lucky: We can wear a suit over and over, just with different shirts and ties.

Always see the good in everyone...learn to see through God's eyes no matter what...remember, the tables may turn tomorrow. You just never know!

Oh, dear--did I forget to mention that you can, indeed, have it all, but you need a lot of help!

I find it so amazing when people tell me that electronic music has no soul. You can't blame the computer. If there's no soul in the music, it's because nobody put it there.

There were never that many women stand-up comics in the past because the power to make people laugh is also a power that gets people upset.

The best wines take the longest to mature.

Reason is the shepherd trying to corral life's vast flock of wild irrationalities.

Money should be mastered, not served.

With knowing comes caring.

Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are.