Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Master the art of finding something to celebrate about in each moment and life will become an exciting adventure.

But the problem is to make the soul into a monster

You are educated when you learn to coexist with othersAnd as a result you enhance the whole existence.

The easiest way to get 15 minutes of fame is to be rude to somebody.

If it's the last thing I do, I will give every ounce of the rest of my life to helping leaders and churches get better.

This was bad grammar of course, but that is how beavers talk when they are excited; I mean, in Narnia--in our world they usually don't talk at all. - The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'? I'm , 'Not for me. I'm done.'

If you're not working to get your business or investing operation to operate without you, you're thinking too small. Think team and systems.

But it seems impossible to speak and yet say nothing, you think you have succeeded, but you always overlook something.

The Patriot Act followed 9-11 as smoothly as the suspension of the Weimar constitution after the Reichstag Fire Decree.