Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.

Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

My granddaughter and I are inseparable. She keeps me wrapped around her little finger.

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

I like to do nice things for my grandchildren - like buy them those toys I've always wanted to play with.

It's impossible to protect your kids against disappointment in life.

We are horse folk, and that means more than we think it does.

War is as much a punishment to the punisher as to the sufferer.

People compose poetry, novels, sitcoms - for love.

No, Lord Maccon was riproaring, tumble down, without a doubt, pickled beyond the gherkin.

Favorite color: I hate colors.

We understand the concept of equality, that we all want to be equal. But I think this is absolutely not true. I don't think anybody really wants to be equal. Everybody wants to be more equal.

I think I am a rare breed, a homosexual who doesn't like men.

The Federal Reserve is answerable to no one.

A month's salary, deep regret, the telephone number of some foul rehab clinic and my lance was free.