Like your job. Love your wife.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it.

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.

I should not really object to dying were it not followed by death.

Religious people today, compartmentalize their attitude to the Bible. They pay it lip service as a symbol of morality while getting their actual morality from more modern principles.

Aside from comic book heroes, the only real life heroes I had were musicians.

Thus the eternal God, our Lord, gives victory to those who follow His way over apparent impossibilities.

From the time I was 8 years old I was on almost every radio show there was.

You're generally better off sticking with what you know.

Everytime I put on clothes, I’m creating a picture.

We need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.

Life is dear to every living thing; the worm that crawls upon the ground will struggle for it.

The love of letters is the forlorn hope of the man of letters. His ruling passion is the love of fame.