Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

The more varied the environments in which you exercise your leadership gift, the stronger that gift will become. You will become a far more effective leader.

When we pray for miracles to everyone or everybody, we are spreading corruption through the pulpit.

The Divine is simply that which science has not yet explained. In effect, God = Infinity - Human Knowledge.

Analysis takes back with one hand what it gives with the other. I recoil in fear and loathing from that deplorable evil: continuous functions with no derivatives.

If I win, I'll take my wife and buy her a whole new wardrobe. If she's happy then I'll be happy.

The happiest miser on earth is the man who saves up every friend he can make.

I'm probably, if I might, if I stray I might write, go into screenplay or do something in film. Something like that but I think I'm pretty much going to stick to what I'm good at.

You put the Devil on the other side, and I will come to fight.

I was very fortunate to be able to go to school and university, because many people our age couldn't complete school. This gift of education must be used in whatever ways we can to uplift the people.

Innovation comes from the producer - not from the customer.