Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie!

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

Alice will always be a beautiful mystery. It is one I am content not to solve.I can love her now in her lovely darkness." -Amalia Milthorpe

Fashion is about comfort and feeling good.

And you've got a boy right there who looks at you like he would drink your bathwater if you'd ask him!

I'm always asked if the songs that I write are therapeutic, and my answer is a quick no. In fact, it could be argued that they exacerbate my neurosis.

In life's orchestra, the bike is the double bass. Hard to forget it

Daft as a brush? I'm daft, but I'm not daft as a brush!

It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same.

We do need knowledge. And perhaps in a thousand years we might pick smaller cliffs to jump off. The books are to remind us what asses and fools we are.

Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.