Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Great leadership is a reflection of honest service

You can't make yourself feel positive, but you can choose how to act, and if you choose right, it builds your confidence.

Law cannot reach where enforcement will not follow. —Popular aphorism.

The more the planners, the worse the plans.

Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.

Sometimes we feel the loss of a prejudice as a loss of vigor.

He who considers too much will perform little.

When you move to the city, you really notice how ugly people can be. And that's something you don't really have to deal with in the country. So I do miss that.

The joy is in the creation. So I've never had a target audience, it's always been about being true to the work as it emerges.

To destroy abuses is not enough; Habits must also be changed. The windmill has gone, but the wind is still there." ~old man G--- to Monseigneur Bienvenu Myriel