Living as I do with human beings, the more that I observe them, the more I am forced to conclude that they are selfish.

But facts, remembered or not, are all, alas, still facts

It is painfully easy to define human beings. They are beings who, for no good reason at all, create their own unnecessary suffering.

I've been really lucky to get on shows that stay on. It's one thing to book a show, and it's like winning the lottery again to have it picked up, and then again to have the show stay on the air.

So these Red Sox... are they a Communist organization?

Don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough. You're good enough, you are too good. Love your family with all your heart and listen to it.

When I wrote 'Marley & Me,' I had a clear audience in mind. And it did not include children. I wrote my book for adults and assumed only adults, and possibly teenagers, would be drawn to it.

The land of embarrassment and breakfast.

Real life is crazier than fiction.

A good reputation for yourself and your company is an invaluable asset not reflected in the balance sheets.

You're so full of it, darlin'.

Life is a hailstorm of distractions. It's not the monster that stops us but the mosquito.

America is deeply rooted in Negro culture: its colloquialisms; its humor; its music.