Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

Beauty is fleeting. But the woman who fear God is blissful.

The intelligence of few perceives what has been carefully hidden in the recesses of the mind.

Become friendly with the present moment, because if you do not become friendly with the present moment you cannot become friendly with life.

I'm in the moment. I'm always in the moment of life.

Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father.

People have a right to be a Democrat. People have a right to be wrong. I know they're the same thing.

This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.

The biggest obstacle to creativity is breaking through the barrier of disbelief.

The companies that make meaningful contributions while also listening to the voices of others are the ones that will genuinely engage their community, who will then go to work for them.

One advantage of a solar collector in space: It would be some kind of origami thing that would unfold and be relatively light because it doesn't have gravity to deal with.