London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

God leads us. God will do the right thing at the right time. And what a difference that makes.

Reproduce yourself and fulfill your calling

All that which proceeds from man’s independent ego is good. All that which proceeds from man’s dependence upon men is evil.

Dead sounds at night come from the inmost hills. Like footsteps upon wool.

One-half of the ills of life come because men are unwilling to sit down quietly for thirty minutes to think through all the possible consequences of their acts.

There are currently more political parties in Iraq than unbombed buildings to hold them.

Physically, man is but an atom in space, and a pulsation in time. Spiritually, the entire outward universe receives significance from him, and the scope of his existence stretches beyond the stars.

I always tell people you can take the thugest thug in the world, and if you put a suit on him, he'll act different, trust me.

What is courage? It is the ability to be strong in trust, in conviction, in obedience. To be courageous is to step out in faith - to trust and obey, no matter what.

We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.