Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

For though we love both the truth and our friends, piety requires us to honor the truth first.

For too long the world has failed to recognise that the Olympic Games and the Olympic Movement are about fine athletics and fine art.

I really believe, when you come out of hiding, in whatever way you're hiding, you get to go out into the sunlight.

Face up to those areas that are weak in your life and seek to make them strong.

There is nothing more exciting in sport when the top two countries in the world are battling for the Ashes

There are some sins which are more justly to be denominated surprises than infidelities. To such the world should be lenient, as, doubtless, Heaven is forgiving.

I'm proud of what I am and who I am, and I'm just going to be myself.

I feel like it's very important that I'm doing what I'm doing, and I want to keep honoring that and try and do it as honestly as I can.

We live in a material world. I'm not saying that beautiful things don't enhance our lives. But, in our culture, we're never happy.

Riches have wings, and grandeur is a dream.