Lord Vetinari lifted an eyebrow with the care of one who, having found a piece of caterpillar in his salad, raises the rest of the lettuce.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Already he knew that to overdo a thing is to destroy it.

When we project the specific organization of the human body into the space outside it, then we have architecture.

When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.

Scholastic learning and polemical divinity retarded the growth of all true knowledge.

Salvation cannot be bought with the currency of obedience; it is purchased by the blood of the Son of God.

The less I pray, the harder it gets; the more I pray, the better it goes.

I think every person's parents teach them a lot and also mess them up royally.

When the flower blossoms, the bee will come.

To the degree it is efficient, a spaceship is elegant and beautiful.

Anything that looks good makes you feel better.