Los Angeles is like San Diego's older, uglier sister that has herpes.

The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.

If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.

On Furnishing One's Home - Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.

I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more.

Writing a book is incredibly pleasurable, but very solitary. You have total control, but sometimes that can drive you insane.

Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.

No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry.

You go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.

I was an angst-y journal writing kid.

You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

One of the greatest things you can learn in life is to be compassionate, and true compassion includes compassion for yourself.

Whatever I experienced in the world that I didn't understand I'd invent a story and workout my understanding of something through the story.

Sovereignty unconditionally belongs neither to the people of the nation nor to some supernatural power but to the human mind, to the science and to the high ethical values!

Dying on your own terms, this is the greatest gift anyone can bestow upon a mortal man.

Part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting battles but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.

I'm happy and content in my life, and I chalk that up to wonderful parents and a wonderful God.

I have been exposed to a great amount of temptation throughout the course of my career.

The truth is ugly: we have art so as not to perish from the truth.

But I am not what I say or what I do or what I remember. I am fundamentally more than that.

No one can read with profit that which he cannot learn to read with pleasure.