Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

That sin will never stand firm which is heartily prayed against....We must spread out all our case before our heavenly Physician, if He is to give us daily relief.

Leadership is found in the action to defeat that which would defeat you… You are made by the struggles you choose.

I'm very emotional. That's why I wear shades a lot.

He seems the incarnation of everything soft and silky and velvety, without a sharp edge in his composition, a dreamer whose philosophy is sleep and let sleep.

The viable jewels of life remain untouched when man forgets his vocation of searching for the truth of his existence.

I did as much research as I could and I took ownership of this illness, because if you don't take care of your body, where are you going to live?

At the end of the day you bet on people, not on strategies.

I love stretching myself musically.

Faith, amid the disorders of a sinful life, is like the lamp burning in an ancient tomb.

Everything was screaming: the sea, the wind, my heart.