Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

I am not gamesome: I do lack some partof that quick spirit that is in Antony.

He had taken to asking himself WWPD? (What Would Pia Do?)

I believe in American exceptionalism, just as I suspect that the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks believe in Greek exceptionalism.

There is one question that I don't think Gary Condit can answer, and that I think is why we all aimed at Gary Condit, besides the fact that he has a relationship.

A lot of people can't stand touring but to me it's like breathing. I do it because I'm driven to do it.

It's the process, not the result.

I wanna say thank you cause: Makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder. makes me that much wiser. so thanks for making me a fighter!

Know that the immediate staff and others in the Administration will assume that your manner, tone and tempo reflect the President's.

I am currently talking to one of the studios about making American Star as a TV series.

Every word was once a poem. Every new relation is a new word.