Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Hatred can be cured by love.

What a world it is, Cora thought, that makes a living prison into your only haven. Was she out of bondage or in its web: how to describe the status of a runaway?

In November, the trees are standing all sticks and bones. Without their leaves, how lovely they are, spreading their arms like dancers. They know it is time to be still.

An element I love about the blues is jamming with other musicians.

What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!

We're like the wicked witch. We promise gingerbread, then eat the little brats alive.

We are in our Self. We are not in the world.

Who are we but the stories we tell about ourselves, particularly if we accept them?

My father had taught me - mostly by example - that if a man wanted to be in charge of his life, he had to be in charge of his problems.

You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours.