Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Happiness in your life is directly related to your ability to love, not your ability to earn.

You cannot force a dry well to yield water.

It is not so much the kind of person a man is as the kind of situation in which he finds himself that determines how he will act.

Words are the most powerful forces in the Universe.

No woman deserved to have a man put his hands on her.

One should eat to live, not live to eat.

You measure a player from the head up.

You have to work hard for it, but first you have to want it, and then you have to dream on it.

I believe that laughter is the best emotional Band-Aid in the world. It's like nature's Neosporin.

It’s perfectly natural for me to sit down and talk about meditating and spiritual practice with my friends. But then I realize, how would it sound to a drunk cynical guy in London?